Tuesday, February 12, 2013

In which one of my nightmares comes true

You know that dream that everyone has where they somehow end up in public with no clothes on?  That actually happened to me.  But more on that a little later.  This morning I had to go to the immigration office to get a specific stamp in my passport.  Here's how it went:

Get to this place in the middle of nowhere.

Wait.  In a line outside of the building.

Get in. Go upstairs.

Wait.

Get my name called.  Go to another room.

Wait.

Get my name called.  Have an eye exam.  Read a paragraph in tiny print in French. What if your vision is perfect and you're just bad at reading French?  These are the things going through my mind during the agonizingly long waits.

Wait.

Go into a changing room.  Strip off everything above the waist.  Proceed to shiver so hard it looks like I'm having a seizure.  Here's where the nightmare part comes in.  Someone barges in.  Not a doctor, another "immigrant" like myself.  Horrifying.

Wait.

Get called into a big room.  Topless.  Get pushed up rather forcefully against a cold metal surface.  Apparently an X-ray machine.  No paper sheet or anything.  I am not confident in the sanitary procedures used in this room.  Door opens,  strange man enters.  Realizes there is a young woman naked from the waist up.  Coughs awkwardly and leaves.  Get X-rays taken.  Realize they didn't put a lead vest on me.  Resign self to probability of sterility.  Remember I don't like kids that much anyway.

Wait.

Talk to an actual doctor.  For 2 minutes.  Get blood pressure taken.

Wait.

Get name called.  Get sticker in my passport.

Done.  And it only took two hours and four strangers seeing me topless.

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